I really love visiting the Royal Horticultural Society’s garden at Rosemoor, here in the UK. It’s a big place yet it feels intimate and personal. It’s crammed with unusual plants but is also the sort of place that’s welcoming to novice gardeners. It’s a joy to amble around the garden and see what’s in flower while birds sing in the trees.
At least it normally is.
New blood
Periodically public gardens reach out to local people with special offers to entice them to visit. You could visit Rosemoor this weekend for just £1 per person. As you can imagine when the weather is nice, the place was packed. This is seldom a problem at Rosemoor; the garden is large enough that you can always find calm quiet tranquillity away from the crowds. I’ve become quite adept at taking photographs without other visitors in the way, sometimes even hitting the shutter just as someone passes behind a tree.
The avenue at Rosemoor
This visit was horrific.
Gardens are not always places for reverential hush. Some are, but in most cases a garden is a place to experience; carpets of flowers, enchanting perfumes, the sound of wind in the trees, plus the company of friends or family.
I can see why parents would be keen to take their young children somewhere to run around and ‘let off steam’, but this was much more than that.
Dropping stones down the holes of fountains, hitting plants with sticks, trampling over the flowers, trying to climb trees. Garden staff were on hand to witness it all. I really felt for them; this is their place of work, these are the plants they nurture, this is the mess they have to clear up to make the garden beautiful for other visitors.
I wonder how often they take stones out of this rill?
I’m sure I saw a tear in the corner of one gardener’s eye.
A PR minefield
Public attractions have to tread carefully in modern times. If a gardener asks someone to stop their child destroying the garden then there is every chance that the parents will go straight online and leave negative reviews for the whole place. It can be horrendous for businesses that rely on their friendly reputation.
I found myself entertaining some dark thoughts. Would it be really terrible if I accidentally karate-chopped little Henry on his next run past me? Little Stephen’s constant shouting is getting irritating now, would a quick trip over a shoe that sends him tumbling onto the grass be all that bad? There’s little Georgina throwing stones at the fish in the pond, with a gentle nudge she could take a closer look at them.
Splash.
Dear reader, I didn’t give in to those dark thoughts.
With such a terrible cacophony in the garden and in the face of such wilful destruction at every turn, I went home. Yes, having travelled to see the garden I, a committed garden and plant lover, went home after barely half an hour in the garden.
(There was a flower show there as well, but I had really wanted to see the garden.)
I don’t blame the children. The behaviours of children are symptom of the times we live in, a time when attractions are held hostage by the threat of negative publicity. Parents know it; many are happy letting their little darlings engage in an orgy of destruction. At least they aren’t wrecking things at home.
Before you call me a ‘grumpy old man’, an accolade I’ve held since I was 11 years old, this is not a different generation to mine: the parents of these children were around my age. Where did it all go wrong?
Adult supervision please… for the adults
It wasn’t just adults ignoring their children’s behaviour; in several cases the adults were themselves acting badly. I rounded one corner to find someone standing right on top of a nice big hellebore so that her friend could take photos of her in just the right spot.
This would be a great spot for a selfie: doesn’t mean you should do it.
Elsewhere parents were actively encouraging their children to run around in borders, or helping them up onto planted walls so they could run up and down over the plants. Some were picking flowers without a care in the world.
I found it more than aggravating; I found it depressing. Working in gardens for a living you inevitably build an appreciation for the hard work of others.
Also I don’t want the gardens damaged because I want to enjoy them too.
Why must my visit be spoiled by these little bipedal fruits of sexual endeavour? Why must the things I want to enjoy be ruined by the wilful ignorance of others?
A problem everywhere
This is definitely not just an RHS problem. I’ve spoken to gardeners who work for other organisations and independent gardens and they have their own stories to tell. One gardener told me that it’s not uncommon to find soiled nappies or excrement in certain parts of the garden, while another told me about an unpleasant encounter with someone who was doing a full-on photoshoot in the garden without permission. There are many stories….
Some people have no idea of what is appropriate when visiting gardens. Others I’m sure are just rude and obnoxious wherever they go. I do wonder though if other places would put up with this level of bad behaviour? Museums are lucky that their valuable exhibits are behind glass, but I wonder if other attractions would be expected to put up with unruly children and badly behaved adults?
A great climbing frame until it all falls apart
Ultimately we’ll all lose out. Delicate but beautiful garden plants will be removed and replaced with plants that can better cope with abuse. Fine stonework will be removed completely or replaced with something less prone to damage. The cheerful gurgle of water from a fountain will be a thing of the past, taken from everyone because constant repair is expensive and impractical.
There’s a dilemma; generally we, the gardening community, want to encourage new people to experience the joy of gardens. Can this be achieved without causing the destruction of gardens through ‘visitor ignorance’?
For now it seems that I must go garden visiting in the rain; it’s the only way to be guaranteed peace and quiet.
We used to have some of this – I remember a small boy chasing our cat with a big stick. It seems small boys and big sticks are an inevitable combination. So we began charging for children and since then, crossing my fingers, we’ve not had so much bother. I do notice that people and especially small ones, will tread on a plant if it’s in their way.
It’s sad not to be actively encouraging families to visit.
I wholeheartedly agree, parenting has gone out of style. However might I suggest that all organisations RHS etc along with private open gardens institute a code of behaviour and publicise it. The social media neurosis is now used as blackmail. However it is the organisations themselves who are to blame, so supposedly progressive. I witnessed this at Montecute House a decade ago. Start a movement, you have all the necessary connections and clout and would be doing society a favour
I guess charging for children means you only get the more committed garden visitors rather than people looking for a day out.
Of course on the one hand that does potentially mean reduced gate revenues (although whether your garden actually becomes an attraction to others because it’s quiet), but repairing damage costs resources. A couple of things trampled is irritation, but if little Benny and Jemima have wiped out a whole area…? There’s probably no one answer for gardens, but clearly trying to be all things to all people is unwise.
I have had similar thoughts myself at times as I watch adults and children be completely disrespectful to their surroundings and others. I used to take my sons to gardens and, taught from a very young age, they knew never to tread on plants or climb elements in a garden. There were great stretches of lawn somewhere for them to burn off steam. In some places I have seen fences being erected to keep people off which totally distracts from the whole.
The fences are so sad. Little fences around the plants, or short hedges, to try to protect the borders… only for parents to lift their children over so they can run around. I’m not sure if that’s ignorance or whether they just don’t care.
I mentioned on Instagram that I was writing this piece and have since received several messages from professional gardeners in the UK telling me about their experiences with visitors, the most iconic image being a sign asking people to respect the delicate plants, knocked over and trampled.
I never really appreciated how lucky I am to work in private gardens.
Yes, totally agree – it’s a sad sign, and it’s sad times. When I went to elementary school (which was in the last century), we had lessons in our school’s garden where we learned to grow plants and care for them. Taught us respect of and love for nature at our most impressionable age. Today, kids learn stuff in school that’s as far removed from nature as possible. Nothing against STEM, but when my five year old niece knows how to manage a smart phone, but is afraid to walk on an asphalt path through the woods (“because woods are scary,” she says), then I truly wonder how we will save our environment when we don’t even know how to appreciate it. Yes, grumpy old woman am I: Experts have, for decades, urged our society to expose kids more to nature – in vain, obviously. And I have no idea how to turn this trend around. Don’t even know how to tell my mail man or woman to PLEASE not step on my plants when taking a short-cut through my garden. Almost every day it’s a different mail person, and most of them tread down on the plants, probably don’t even notice (or care) that there are plants under their feet. Wished THEY had learned to love plants in their school system…
It’s depressing isn’t it? There’s so much beauty in the world, but both children and adults seem incapable of caring for it.
Just over a year ago the BBC broadcast its ‘Green Planet’ series, the first token gesture toward the plants for over 25 years, despite covering the same ground with the oceans and different regions repeatedly in that time. It was hoped that people would have a ‘green moment’ and start to appreciate the plant world; sadly the response to the series wasn’t exactly strong, and it seems that disinterest in the plants, either in gardens or nature, is the same as ever.
There was a Star Trek episode where Wesley Crusher accidently went past a low-lying white marker and crashed into a flowerbed. According to the local laws, his punishment was supposed to be immediate death. OK, not suggesting that, but I have spoken up directly to children who were misbehaving. Not yelling, just correcting. Sometimes their parents were embarrassed. A lot of times parents just let it go. Never had one yell at me, though I wouldn’t rule that out. However, I’ve worked with groups of kids for over 40 years and I admit I have a way with them. Adults? Forget about it. Those in charge will have to take care of those beings. But they should not be afraid of a bad review. They can always respond explaining the situation. Something along the lines of “Sorry, but we don’t allow thoughtless, selfish, spoiled brat adults to destroy our environment”. Well, maybe tone that down a bit. Like I said, I don’t deal with adult creatures.
Absolutely agree. The TripAdvisor page already has negative reviews for a range of things, some of which are very odd (there was a 1 star review in there because although the garden was looking superb the reviewer considered that the hedge hadn’t been trimmed properly!). I think public gardens need to decide what they are; are they educational spaces, are they there for quiet enjoyment, or are they there for children to run around?
Gardens can be designed and planted to be more resilient to wayward children, although I would argue that even in spaces designed for children they shouldn’t be allowed to destroy things. What is clearly not working is ‘multi-function’ spaces. Since I first mentioned on social media that I was writing this piece I have had quite a few gardeners come forward to tell me horror stories about what happens when gardens reach out to new people. It’s heartbreaking.
When gardens open for special free or nearly free days, they hope to entice new regular visitors or, better still, new members. Sadly, free days at attractions rarely generate new and vital support. The free visitors expect the world, trash what they find and seldom return. Moral of the story, never visit on special offer occasions.
You’ve come to the same conclusion I’ve come to!
YES to plants, YES to animals, NO to people!
Unruly children are every bit as destructive as deer, but you can at least fence the garden to keep deer out!
Or shoot the deer. Sorry, I know that will elicit a strong reaction in some people. I’m NOT advocating we shoot children either. But sometimes stronger measures than signs must be taken. People are so quick to take offence if they are told what they are doing is wrong, destructive or obnoxious to many. Maybe if they were told, publicly, they MIGHT actually think about it. I saw the same thing as Linus (below) when I was recently in DC. I worked at a public museum for 30 years and told thousands not to touch, run, throw things, etc. I had my share of parents becoming irate but our policy and my boss backed me up since I was doing my job – to keep the visitors AND the exhibits safe. It’s a fine line but it must be held. There is no one answer for this but each institution should be more obvious in stating what is not acceptable and what the CONSEQUENCES are if that line is breached. I also think if more people (visitors, workers, etc.) spoke up about this problem, not just in special interest blogs, we might make some difference. Then again, many people feel so entitled to do whatever they want it might not work. One can only try, one person at a time and hope the next generation realizes we can’t trash everything and survive as a species.
At least these gardens are presumably private and someone can enforce rules?In the DC area, the cherry blossoms are blooming. I remember one year I was enjoying the blossoms with a friend, and lots of parents were putting their kids in the cherry trees for pictures. The National Park Service signs state no climbing of trees, etc. One random individual decided to enforce the signs by getting in the pictures, upsetting the parents and leading to threats of punching. The parents’ justification was that they were entitled tax payers. Much screaming and swearing, but fortunately no violence.
It’s a difficult one. These gardens are owned by organisations who rely on visitors for their existence, hence the perceived need to keep people sweet. I dare say there is probably a bit of “we’ve paid to come here so we’ll do what we want” going on, although whether paying £1 to go in on a promotional weekend gives someone the right to cause not insignificant damage…?
Weren’t the DC cherry trees a gift from the nation of Japan? I think I read something like that. Whether they are or not, tax money is used to maintain them for everyone; why should the parents and their pictures have priority over anyone else?
But it’s truly disrespectful. Whomever pays shouldn’t determine we treat living things poorly. Lack of class, lack of education and books. That’s all it is.
I’m inclined to agree.
When we pay to see something we’re not taking temporary ownership of it; people who hire cars have to bring them back in perfect condition, people who rent marquees are responsible for their care, yet some feel that if they’ve paid to go into a garden they can act how they wish.
This is sadly typical of the RHS’s “inclusivity” fad. Until school closing time on weekdays, and all weekend, RHS Harlow Carr is full of women pushing pushchairs, with or without an accompanying toddler. Betty’s cardboard coffee cup in hand, sunglasses on head, no interest whatsoever in plants or gardens. It’s simply a more upmarket place to swan about in than Valley Gardens in Harrogate. There’s a kiddies’ playground at both ends to make sure we can all hear the continual screaming and wide borders in the middle likewise. I’m surprised they haven’t put football nets up. Only by entering at about 4.30pm is anything like peace expected.
The latest idea is to periodically allow dogs into RHS gardens. I’m sure it’s a softening-up process for full-time admission. That would be the end for me.
Yeh the dog issue is a big one; a lot of people own dogs who would be great RHS visitors, but once that door is open you’re not just inviting people who will act responsibly but you’re also inviting in the people who will use gardens as a prettier version of the local park.
I’d have thought that an organisation keen on wildlife would be less than keen to allow dogs in, in case of disturbance to wildlife within the gardens, but the same could be said about allowing kids to run through the borders. I don’t think it’s unfair, or unwise, to ask the RHS, the National Trust and any organisation or garden to pick its target demographic; trying to be all things to all people leads to conflict and ends up with an organisation representing everyone and nobody.
In central Alabama, gardens and garden clubs flourish. Our Free and lovely Botanical Gardens are open to all. They are always busy with field trips from schools near and far. They have camps for children of all ages who learn how to plant, propagate and appreciate flowers and vegetables. Parents for the most part educate the visiting children on proper behavior. Makes for a lovely walk(no dogs allowed, or bicycles) and learning. Thankful we still have a shred of gentility here!
That is excellent news! I’m glad that there is civility, somewhere, and that children are engaging with gardens in a positive way.
My Mother says “the author nailed it.” So that’s settled.
Someone used the word entitled, and I believe that is the big problem. It’s the red light entitlement problem. People used to step on the gas for yellow lights, hoping to make it through the intersection before the light turned red. Now they step on the gas after the light has turned red, hoping to make it through the intersection before anyone with the right-of-way drives through. People feel they’re entitled to break the law, or the rules. They just don’t care anymore.
When I worked at a nursery, I would gently ask children to stop climbing the shelves or picking the flowers, or whatever they were doing. Along the lines of not caring, I didn’t care what the parents thought of me. They usually were embarrassed.
We open our garden to the public on a limited basis, charging CDN $25 per person, with children under 12 coming for free. So far, we’ve had only the most incredibly positive results. Children have been well-behaved, and I love having families on site. Perhaps because we are located off the beaten path, in rural Quebec, the people who come are truly interested in what they are seeing. I only hope the positive will continue this summer.