Hellebores are beautiful and bullet proof plants which, according to AI, require 95 to 97% less maintenance than most other perennials. Today, 27F and sunny, was the day I gave them that 3 to 5% of maintenance which, in my opinion, they need–the late winter cleanup. Yes, I know there are people—even some I used to respect—who feel that you should not clean up your hellebores. They will tell you to leave the spent foliage, upon which the new flowers will perch when they emerge. They earnestly and perhaps prudishly believe that the flowers look a little weird and unseemingly suggestive when they stretch out in late winter with nothing to cover their alluring legs, and last year’s foliage, tattered though it may be, is just right for the job. Me? I don’t mind exposed legs. Not at all. But I do mind watching old, pocked, mottled, foliage suffer and die.

Maroon hellebore in spring.

What some would call a leggy looking hellebore I call fabulous!

Winter damaged spent hellebore foliage.

Year old foliage. 

Last year at this time, I was in constant pain and could barely move. I had, if I wanted it, the perfect excuse to let go and take a one-year break (and a few less oxy) and just let those long hellebore legs hide behind those skirts of the pocked, mottled, suffering, and dying foliage that some people find so appealing. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. So I went online and bought a cheap tool that looked like it wouldn’t be stout enough, but, if it were, would be perfect for the job. Turns out, it was stout enough and, indeed, perfect for the job. And if I was medicated just right, I could cut back the hellebores in short spurts standing up, and thus not suffering and possibly dying myself. That tool (Fiskars Grass Shears, Long Handle, 36″) looks like this:

Long reach pruners and cut hellebores

This year I’m feeling much better (knock on wood) and found that this tool—even for able bodied people—is still worth using. In fact, I ripped through my 6,742 (give or take) hellebores in less than two hours. And it was a damned good thing I did! This winter has been exceptionally cold and I thought I still had plenty of time to get outside and cut my hellebores back. But, to my surprise, more than a handful were already pushing new growth. With the upcoming week of warm weather they’re forecasting, every last one of my hellebores would soon be sending their luscious legs skyward and the surgical precision needed to remove all that pocked, mottled, suffering, dying (and modesty-providing skirts) without damaging the flowers would take at least 537 additional hours of tedious labor (give or take).

New hellebore buds amongst spent foliage

If you look hard enough, you can just see new flower buds amidst a winter’s worth of mess. Imagine extracting all that spent foliage once these new shoots entangle themselves through last year’s stems. 

Cut back hellebore with flower buds emerging.

Cleaned up, and just in the nick of time!

And I’m just not a surgical precision kind of guy. There are people who have the time and mindset to garden as garden writers say you must. Good for them. I’m sure being that persnickety makes them feel just great. Superior even. And staying engrossed in such time-consuming tasks helps keep them out of trouble. But me? Nope. I don’t have time for that, nor the patience if I did. I garden like hell. Most of what little deadheading I do is done with a string trimmer. I spring clean some of my garden beds with a lawn mower. Sometimes, when the fire truck passes on its way to a gas explosion or some other big disaster, knowing the fire marshall will be busy for a while, I set my grasses ablaze. This is how I garden. And I very much enjoy having some free time for getting into trouble.

Cut back hellebore foliage.

Clean up in aisle five.

And this tool, whatever they call it, gave me that time. And it didn’t do the job any better than it had to, either. Every stem I cut was a different length. And they all stuck out oddly in every direction. Some of the cuts were raggedy. Actually, most of them. And some of the pocked, mottled, suffering, and dying leaves wound up still on the plants because they’re hard to spot when you work hastily and it’s impossible to prevent unless you go back afterwards and remove them. A fussy gardener would break out in hives just by looking at the job I did but I was just fine with it. And I also know that no one will be looking at my garden, including probably me, until such time as the leggy flowers sprout forth, and, when that happens, everyone in their right minds will be looking at the flowers. Only the insane will be looking for vestiges of shoddy work underneath them. And, besides, that time period of beautiful flowers and leggy legs is quite brief. Quite soon, fresh new leaves will come spilling out, covering everything and anything that doesn’t look like a plastic rendition of a picture perfect cut back perennial.

Hellebores in a pathway.

A follow up round with a blower goes a long way. This is from a previous year. The current garden will look like this. Soon. Or soon enough anyway.

A messy garden scene with a hellebore in bloom.

I’m not really one to judge, but this scene from someone else’s garden could use just a little more effort. That, in fact, is all it would take. 

Ultimately, it was amazing how quickly things were almost finished and I was out of the cold. Nothing like the satisfaction of a job adequately done, especially knowing it happened with such ruthless and reckless efficiency. And then, of course, it was time for a beer. Yep. But, then… What the hell? What do I see outside my window? My wife cleaning up my cleanup! Well okay, I guess. Time to for another beer. Or two. 

Beautiful salmon hellebore flower

All the charm and glory, yes glory, of a stunning hellobore blooming in very early Spring.