This time of year, especially in a year like this, a lot of people are looking at their plants and asking, “Is it dead?” It’s a pretty good question, because, although plants are very capable of dying, some might be just calling it a night.
It’s interesting how different gardeners react when a plant has apparently died. A new gardener jumps to the conclusion that a brown and withered plant is certainly dead. To paraphrase Monty Python, they concede that it is definitely deceased. No more! It has ceased to be! Expired and gone to meet its maker! It’s a late plant. And, being new to gardening (and still so sweet and innocent), they freak out! This dead plant of theirs, it’s the worst thing that ever happened. They either failed the plant or the plant failed them, and they demand to know which. To paraphrase again, this time from The Godfather, they take the whole thing very personal. Forgetting it’s just business. The business they have chosen.
The more experienced gardener doesn’t overreact as much. Usually. And they don’t take it personal. They will look at the same brown and withered plant and ask a slightly different question: “Is it dead yet?” Because the plant could be just playing possum. But it could also be dead. As a gardener, they’ve seen a lot of death and have accepted the fact that everything has to die sometime. And, believe it or not, there is a sunny side. A dead plant usually means space for a new plant. Something they’ve been wanting.
My ostrich ferns have convincingly faked their own deaths the last three years. I think they’re getting a little less shade than they used to and I know they’ve gotten less late season rain. By early August, they’ve been looking unhappy and I get them more water. But with no rain, by the end of the month I’m in plant triage mode. Other plants take priority. They get water when I can. A week or two later, I’d be giving them palliative care if I knew how to do it. Days later, they look as dead as King Tut, but, by next spring, they’ll be green and growing and—same as me—fervently hoping and praying for a better year than the last three.

My ostrich ferns (and my wife Michele) fresh and full of life last spring. They have no idea of how hard summer will be and how I’ll be forced into making hard choices about who gets watered!

Now they know.
A lot of other herbaceous perennials do the same thing. Times get hard, they figure they’ve banked enough to get them through the winter and simply go underground. And who can blame them? I’d do it too, if I could.

These hostas might look finished, but they are just fine.
Trees and shrubs that lose their leaves might be dead or they might not. If they’re conifers, they’re done. At least in my experience. By the time I notice they’re suffering, it’s too late. Before palliative care, before triage, before they even look unhappy, I get water on my handful of conifers. If I remember. That’s just how it is with conifers in Ohio. In my yard, anyway. Out West, in other places, it could be different. I don’t know. And don’t care.

A Chamaecyparis obtusa ‘Nana Gracilis’ I didn’t water enough. It was a nice specimen too. And, no, it didn’t come back.
Deciduous woodies can drop their leaves in the late season and still be okay. Look for nice, plump, living, hopeful buds and springy branches. If you’ve got ’em, you’re probably good, so don’t cut them down. If they don’t leaf out next year, then start to think about removal, dragging your feet just to give them time.

Next year’s buds, tightly bound and full of energy.
To be honest, I don’t even cut down brown conifers until the next spring. I’m just funny that way, even though I know they’re a goner.
But there are some plants I don’t hesitate to declare dead. Plants like daphnes and Himalayan blue poppies. No point waiting on them because if they look dead, they are dead. So what I do is go get a broom, return, and then beat them with it. Without mercy. While cursing loudly. Loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. Cursing daphnes. Cursing Mecanopsis. Cursing their beauty. Cursing my stupid ass self for loving them so much and for giving them yet another chance. Cursing my soil, the climate, the weather, the economy, the government, the universe and whatever else I can think of.
I guess, sometimes even experienced gardeners take it personal.
When I saw the article title, I immediately thought of Monty Python. Being a “glass is half empty gal” by nature, as a new gardener, I was terribly sad when a plant died. I felt it just wasn’t meant to be. What a revelation it was to learn the old adage, you can kill a plant 3 times before you decide to maybe call it quits. Gardening is such an interesting thing; where else do you get a group of pros, all sitting around animatedly regaling each other with stories of their failures? As an aside, as lovely as the ostrich ferns are, I do hope you chose to water Michelle.
She got water. And even some wine!
Just read this rant to my husband. We have decided to add the “Broom Beating Ritual” to our spring traditions. Still deciding which curse words would be most cathartic.
The broom beating ritual is a good one. I prefer to curse stream of conscious. For me, it being without forethought and utterly in the moment works best.
It is so helpful to read this post, Scott. By now we are all weary. At least those of us who haven’t gotten rain, to speak of, in months. I don’t have any close gardening friends and no one else understands the real angst of drought. So, thank you. It is good to know more of us are out there, suffering right along with our plants.
Yes, suffering.
‘…angst of drought.’ Very aptly put. People around me keep saying how nice the weather is, another beautiful sunny day.Sunny day, my foot! I want rain, and I want it now!!!
it’s nice to know i am not the only one who gives plants advice (thinly veiled threats) reminding them of why they are where they are (show some gratitude by blooming would ya?)
Some get thinly veiled threats. Others need a lead pipe to the knees. Some never get it.
I’ve been asking “Is it dead?” about a white lilac that came originally from my grandfather’s
home via my parents’ yard. I’m assuming a fungus is the culprit but hadn’t bothered to
go inspect the plant for green bud tips.
It seems “well and truly dead.” [Wizard of Oz]; only a wizard would have a chance to wave her
hand and resurrect it.
After 3 years of loosing leaves very early in the summer, think June, I dug out two clumps of common lilac. Very therapeutic. I may not have any control over anything else in the world, but by God I’ll show those lilacs. They’ll be back, I know I didn’t get all the roots. So for a few years they will lull me with their sweet smell and pretty flowers. Next time I won’t let them get so big.
Good luck with that !
I’d like to help you, but I don’t know any wizards.
My weeping cherry tree indeed caused much weeping, but I finally cut it down after cracking off a few very dead branches.
Ashes to ashes…
I don’t know how I can laugh about all this but I had to! Drought is NOT funny but you certainly are. Dead plants are not funny but picturing you beating plants with a broom whilst cursing is funny. Thanks for putting it all into perspective. Now I have to throw my used dish water on some plants before I beat them.
Do what you can and, then, you’re either crying or laughing.
Good to have you back, Scott.
Thank you, Paul!
I love the scene in “Good Omens,” where David Tennant’s demon yells at his plants to GROW BETTER!!!! as he murders a plant with a single leaf spot. If you missed it, you must find it on YouTube.