English Garden Tools. We love them, yeah, yeah, yeah…
Imagine my delight when Clarington Forge sent a box of English garden tools all the way to northern California. Genevieve Schmidt of NorthCoastGardening is known for making actual useful, instructive videos about garden tools–not the kind of rambling, intoxicated things we normally do on GardenRant — so Gen and I got together in my garden and I made a guest appearance in her videos, wherein I attempted to be a little more useful and instructive than normal.
Gen, by the way, is a landscape designer and garden coach, and one of the cool things she does for her clients is tool demonstrations. Imagine getting to try out tools in your own garden, on your own plants, before you go buy them! And having someone tell you how the tool holds up over time–how often it has to be sharpened, whether the handle breaks, etc etc. That's what Gen does. Which I think is a fabulous idea.
So–here are the videos we made about Clarington Forge's tools. And yes, we're giving some away! But there are special instructions, so you must pay attention:
To win the rabbiting spade pictured in this video, post a comment here, on GardenRant. This is a tool that's going to last you a lifetime, so be clever. Say something brilliant. Extra points, this time, for entries set to the music of any song by a British band. That gives you the entire Beatles catalog to work with–we know you can do it!
Okay! Was that fun? Good. Because it only gets better from here. We also reviewed this surprisingly cool Wizard rubber rake. With actual replacable tines. But you really have to watch the video to understand what's so cool about a rubber rake.
And if you want to win one? Gen's giving that one away. So get over to NorthCoastGardening.com and do her bidding if you want to win a rake.
So. To repeat: Comment here to win a spade, with extra points for any comment set to the tune of a song by a British band, and go talk to Gen to win a rake.
Who knows how long I've raked here? / You know I rake here still.
Will it last a lonely lifetime? If it's English, yes it will.
Come on! You can do better than that! Get to it!
Posted by Amy Stewart on December 1, 2010 at 3:32 am, in the category I Don't Have a Garden, but I Watch One on TV, Taking Your Gardening Dollar.
The Atlanta Botanical Garden asked me to do a Tool lecture. WTF, why did I say yes?
In my dictionary:
1st description of Tool – weapon.
2nd description of Tool – PENIS.
That’s something to work with !
Did you know you NEED 2 sets of tools?
Ha, the Tool lecture entered my Dog/Pony show.
Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the spade who came to stay?
It’s the kind of spade you want so much
It makes you sorry
Still you don’t regret a single day.
Ah spade
Spade
When I think of all the times I’ve tried so hard to leave it
It will turn to me and start to cry;
And it promises the earth to me
And I believe it
After all this time I don’t know why
Ah spade
Spade
It’s the kind of spade who puts you down
When friends are there, you feel a tool.
When you say it’s looking good
It acts as if it’s understood.
It’s cool, ooh, ooh, ooh,
Spade
Spade
Was it told when it was young that pain
Would lead to pleasure?
Did it understand it when they said
That a man must break his back to earn
His day of leisure?
Will it still believe it when I’m dead?
Ah spade
Spade
Pretty lame, but it’s only 8am and I haven’t had my first cup of tea yet.
Don’t enter me. This is just for fun:
The weeds are threatnin’/My very bed today
If I don’t do some weedin’/My gardens gonna fade away
Tools, children/ They’re just a post away/ Just a post away
(I could do more, but I have to get to work)
Things I could do with a Clarington Forge spade:
Fixing a Hole
pick up after Martha My Dear
plant Norwegian Wood
Dig a Pony
Dig It
impress the Boys
chase Rocky Raccoon
Carry That Weight
Follow the Sun
beat back Maxwell’s Silver Hammer
create an Octopus’ Garden
have Stawberry Fields Forever
grow a Glass Onion
start a Revolution
Give Peace a Chance!
What will I be with out the spade?
Crying, Waiting, Hoping
in Misery
The Fool on the Hill
Don’t Let Me Down!
I’ve had a set of English tools for so long I can’t remember when I got them. A stainless steel shovel head and spading fork.
They are an investment of a lifetime and it is amazing the emotional attachment that is established between a good gardening tool and the gardener.
I hope that someone who has some crappy made in China tools gets a chance to use and bond with a handcrafted piece of artistry.
The narrow spade that you held up looks to me to be a irrigation trenching spade , which can also be good for planting certain types of bulbs.
Good luck to some lucky gardener. You’ll have a fantastic tool that will be with you for life.
I love them, too!
http://www.thesoilsisters.com/2010/11/clarington-forge-tools-one-of-kind.html
Oh, I have another one!
I ain’t got no
Soil compaction
Cause I mulch, and I mulch, and I mulch
(OK. I will stop)
Been Dazed and Confused for so long it’s not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Lots of people talk and few of them know,
soul of a woman was created below.
You hurt and abuse tellin’ all of your lies.
Run around sweet baby, Lord how they hypnotize.
Sweet little baby, I don’t know where you’ve been.
Gonna love you baby, here I come again.
Every day I work so hard, bringin’ home my hard earned pay
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/led-zeppelin-lyrics/dazed-and-confused-lyrics.html ]
Try to love you baby, but you push me away.
Don’t know where you’re goin’, only know just where you’ve been,
Sweet little baby, I want you again.
Been dazed and confused for so long, it’s not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Take it easy baby, let them say what they will.
Will your tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?
I’m not content to be with you in the daytime
Spade, I want to be with you all of the time
The only time I feel alright is by your side
Spade, I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night (repeat)
I believe that you and me last forever
Oh yeah, dig all day and nighttime too, leave me never
The only time I feel alright is by your side
Spade, I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night (repeat)
Set to the tune of “Gloria” by Them:
D I G G I N, diggin!
D I G G I N, diggin!
I’m gonna shovel it all night, diggin!
I’m gonna shovel it every day, diggin!
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Ever since I was a young boy,
I’ve played the silver spade.
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played and played.
But I ain’t seen nothing like him
In any garden shade
That deaf dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean mean spade !
This is too perfect. For all you Motorhead fans out there…
The pleasure is to dig,
It makes no difference what you grow
I don’t share your weeds,
The only tool I need is
The rabbiting spade
The rabbiting spade.
(Handy reference for the uninitiated.)
Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus
Reach out and touch dirt
Your own powerful shovel
Something to move your iris
Something that works
Your own powerful shovel
Something to slice through clay
Something f**king today
Feeling’s familiar and you’re all alone
No one to help or to hear your bones
Claw through the soil
It’ll make your blood boil
Damn that dirt
This garden’s a flirt
It’s too hot
You should’ve grown pot
Make the work trippy
It could deliver
Reach out and touch dirt.
Your own powerful shovel.
Make the work trippy
It could deliver
Make you a believer.
Reach out and touch dirt.
On watching these videos i think gardening is your hobby. Am i right?
Sung to the tune of ‘Friggin’ in the Riggin’ by the Sex Pistols
Gotcha in my right hand
a cold one in my left
We’ll spend the day amongst the weeds
We’ll probably break a sweat
Diggin’ in the garden
Diggin’ in the garden
Diggin’ in the garden
It’s my favorite thing to do!
I’ll shovel on the compost
I’ll shovel all the snow
I’m just as handy with a rake
and you should see me with a hoe
He wants one, yeah yeah yeah.
He wants one, yeah yeah yeah.
He wants one, yeah yeah yeah yeeeaaaaah.
Hey, Spade…
I’ve got a hoe.
It’d like to meet you…
behind the shed…
Yes, I have dozens of hoes (from the U.S., England, Holland, China…) but not nearly enough spades.
There are spades that I remember
All my life though some are lame
Some forever, not for better
Spades have gone and some remain
All these spades have their moments
With clay and loam I still can recall
Some are dull and some are rusted
In my life I’ve used them all
I’ll bet that rubber rake would work really well for removing leaves from ground covers.
Yesterday
All my gardening seemed so far away
Now it looks as though its here to spay
Oh, I believe in spades today
Suddenly, I not half the girl I used to be
There a rain cloud hanging over me
I should have started digging yesterday
But with no spade
The rain came, suddenly
Why’d you have to break
I don’t know, You didn’t say (because you can’t talk)
I bent something wrong
Now I long for a new spade
Clarington
That’s the brand I hear is best
Amy and Gen put it to the test
Now I believe in Clarington
(The Who-Talkin’ ‘Bout My Generation) Yes I’m Old – Deal with it!
Who put my old spade away?
I just can’t dig a bed today.
Not tryin’ to cause a big s-s-sensation
Just tallkin’ ’bout my enervation……
I guess I’ll have a go at it.
Sung to the tune of “Twist and Shout”
Well, dig it up, baby, now (dig it up, baby)
Yank and pull (yank and pull)
Cmon cmon cmon cmon baby now. (come on baby)
Come on and dig it on out. (dig it on out)
Well, rip it on out, honey. (rip it on out)
You know you look so good. (look so good)
You know you got me sweatin, now (got me sweatin)
Just like I knew you would. (like I knew you would, oooh!)
Well, dig it up, baby, now (dig it up, baby)
Yank and pull (yank and pull)
Cmon cmon cmon cmon baby now. (come on baby)
Come on and dig it on out. (dig it on out, oooh!)
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haha enjoyed the videos
Love Gen’s review of tools on her website. I think you should make her a guest contributor.
I liked your demonstration in the garden. the tools are English, because they’re made in England, right?
Does that make garden tools that were made in China but purchased at Home Depot, really Chinese tools?
My sincerest apologies to The Smiths:
Is it wrong to want to dig on your own?
No, it’s not wrong -but I must know
how can someone so calm
scream words so mad?
Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow.
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear.
And don’t come in ’til night.
Come out & make the garden you love & who loves you.
Is it wrong not to always be glad?
No, it’s not wrong but I must add
How can someone so strong
dig holes so bad?
Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow.
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear.
And don’t come in ’til night.
Come out & make the garden you love & who loves you.
Take my spade & we’ll divide,
Oh, la, la, la…
You’ve a fern & I’ve bok choi
La…
Take my spade & we’ll divide,
Oh, la, la, la…
You’ve a fern & I’ve bok choi
La…
Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow.
La…
Throw your old spade onto the fire.
Come out & make the garden that you love.
Come out & make the one you love.
You can’t always get what you want.
You can’t always get what you want.
You can’t always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes you just might find you win what you need.
Ah, look at all the lousy shovels.
Ah, look at all the lousy shovels.
Eleanor Rigby, picks up the shovel she bought at the bog box store.
Not quite a spade
Heads to the garden, hoping to move all the iris at last near the shed.
Is she thick in the head?
All the lousy shovels
where do they all come from?
All the lousy shovels
where do they all come from?
Well, that’s what I’ve got! And by that I mean a lousy shovel…..
uh, that would be a “big box store” as opposed to “bog box” which I’ll save for another garden post….
cheers!
Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your handle
I wanna hold your handle
I wanna hold your handle
Oh, please, say to me
You´ll let me be your WOman
and please, say to me
You´ll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling
That my love
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your handle
I wanna hold your handle
I wanna hold your handle
And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling
That my love
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your handle
I wanna hold your handle
I wanna hold your handle.
(couldn’t resist the “obvious” Beatles version of ~I wanna hold your “SPADE” handle~!) Silly but fun! Thanks!
To “Nights in White Satin” by the Moody Blues
Of holes that need digging, I cannot reach the end,
It just takes too much effort for me to expend.
My old spade’s so rusty, not cared for before.
But if I owned this new spade, digging won’t be a chore!
‘Cos I love it, yes, I love it, ooooh how I love it.
Gazing at yardwork, I SO need a hand.
Hope what I’m going through, you’ll understand:
Spending more on my garden, I cannot defend,
But winning a new spade, I’d recommend!
Sung to “We Gotta Get Out of This Place” by the Animals
In this shady old part of the garden
Where the sun’s refused to shine
People tell me there ain’t no use in tryin’
But hydrangeas are nice and pretty
And one thing I know is true:
They won’t thrive until there’s no bamboo.
So I gotta dig out all the old stuff,
And replace it all with new.
Wish I’d never planted that bamboo.
Oh, yes, you know it!
I’ve been diggin’ so hard, yeah,
Spade’s been diggin’ too, baby, yeah!
Every night and day, yeah.
We gotta clear up this whole plot
If it’s the last thing we ever do.
With the help of a rabbiting spade
At least transplanting’s something I won’t rue.