Taking Your Gardening Dollar

Spotted at the Garden Show: The Botaniwipe

BotaniwipeHow I envy the parents of small children.  No, it’s not because they get to experience the greatest love of all, or the joy of seeing the world through a youngster’s curious eyes, or the cozy satisfaction of knowing that the family line will be unbroken.

It’s the butt wipes.

I mean, how awesome would it be to always have a plastic box of oily little wipes in a bag on your shoulder? Just think of the messes you could clean up.  The grime you could remove. The clean, shiny surfaces you would create.

If only there were butt wipes for my plants!  Yes, that’s what I need!  My plants, who are like children in so many ways, except that I don’t let them in the house, I don’t give them anything to drink or eat all summer, and I cut their heads off in the fall–except for that, I really do love them so much that I find myself wishing that I could wipe their butts as if they were the children I never had.

And look!  Now I can! These people are mind-readers! How did they know?

Botani Wipes.  My life is complete.

Posted by on March 27, 2008 at 5:19 am, in the category Taking Your Gardening Dollar.
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12 responses to “Spotted at the Garden Show: The Botaniwipe”

  1. susan harris says:

    Of course I clicked on that link, hoping to find an explanation for the NEED for such a product and found nothing. Instead, this: “Children under 12 must be supervised. Safe to the touch. Always test on a small area of the plant first.”
    So I’ve gotta ask: why wouldn’t tidy gardeners just use water?

  2. Michele Owens says:

    Ha! You made me laugh!

    I did consider it very important to keep my children’s butts clean when they were small–but anything else was up for grabs. They ran around with dirty faces and wild hair their entire toddlerhood. Come to think of it, they still look pretty unkempt.

    So I won’t be wiping off my plants any time soon.

  3. Jeff Gillman says:

    I have a 1yr old and plenty of those baby wipes around. Why haven’t I tested them! I’m going to feel guilty the rest of the day. And then tomorrow I’m going to buy a pack of the botaniwipes and test ’em with the baby wipes head to head! My 6 yr old will love it.

  4. Jeff Gillman says:

    I have a 1yr old and plenty of those baby wipes around. Why haven’t I tested them! I’m going to feel guilty the rest of the day. And then tomorrow I’m going to buy a pack of the botaniwipes and test ’em with the baby wipes head to head! My 6 yr old will love it.

  5. I can’t relate to butt wipes for kids ( thank god I stayed sane about avoided that one ) but as for plants I can relate.
    Recently I purchased some plants that had a prominent place in a garden show.
    Try as I might with just a clean washcloth and some plain water I could not get the weird white fertilizer salt stains off of the big leaf foliage.

    My sense is, these horti-wipes are designed for interior scape gardeners or those who purchase plants that have that horrible baked in white salty fertilizer stain into their leaves.

    something for everyone , I guess.

  6. Lisa Albert says:

    This product reminds me of the time I heard rumors that Martha Stewart vacuumed her garden’s soil. Don’t know how much truth there was to that rumor but frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me.

  7. Lisa Albert says:

    One more thought…. I’m surprised Jerry Baker doesn’t have a recipe for this application. It seems he proposes a concoction of baby shampoo, vegetable oil, tobacco and beer to handle all other garden tasks.

    This product has got to be meant for indoor plants or for those who show plants. Then again, maybe there are people out there with so much free time that they have the luxury of spending it cleaning their garden’s leaves. Or maybe they have enough money to pay people to do this. That just boggles my mind.

  8. Benjamin says:

    I’ve used this product outside on my plants for a while now, actually, as it was available here early as a test market thing–or so the nursery told me. I enjoy using it, and find it quite beneficial, especially on my monarda and serviceberry leaves–no more powdery mildew! I’m out there anyway weeding and trimming, might as well wipe.

  9. Jenny says:

    I recently found a bottle of “plant polish” (I think) in the nursery section of a general store. “Clean and polishes houseplant leaves!” it said. “Leaves a lovely shine!” I’m pretty sure it was water. It said it was only for use on smooth leaves, not African violets or similar, but I’m still pretty sure it was water.

  10. Carrie says:

    This is a prime example of: “If they’ll buy it, we’ll sell it.” Or rather, “If we market it, they’ll buy it!”

  11. Rachel says:

    Yes. Just what we need. Another not needed disposal item to clog the landfills when a simple shower is all that is needed. Of course, who wants to use a washable dustrag or even bother moving a plant into the bathtub for shower? There are Botani Wipes. Unbelievable.

  12. Nate Travers says:

    Actually I’m pretty sure most of you have missed the point. These are extremely beneficial when cleaning and servicing plants indoors. Working in the plant industry I have found countless uses for this product in our greenhouse and my home. They are made with Neem Oil and are 100% biodegradable. It even says on the box that they are flushable. Butt, they do look like those types of wipes.

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