Ask Dr. Bleedingheart

An Open Letter to Disappointed Brides Everywhere

Bleeding_heart
NEW YORK (Reuters) – A New York couple sued a florist for $400,000
for using the wrong color flowers at their wedding — a mistake the
newlyweds said caused them "extreme disappointment, distress and
embarrassment."


   

Dear Disappointed Bride,

I know how hard you worked to come up with the perfect color scheme for your wedding, a day that you have no doubt been looking forward to for years.  And it sounds as though you made your wishes perfectly clear in the 200-250 emails you sent the florist. And lord knows, anyone who spends $27,000 on flowers is entitled to get what they want. But are you sure you want a lawsuit to remember your wedding by?  Is this really the best way to start a marriage?

If I could give one wedding present to every couple I saw walk down the aisle, it would be this:  the ability to overlook flaws, forgive mistakes, release grudges, let go of disappointment, and shrug off misfortune.  That may sound like more than one present, but really, it’s all part of the same package.  Let me explain.

You see, you have just agreed to spend the rest of your life with a human being.  And a human being is rather like a flower.  Beautiful at a distance, but get too close and you’ll start to see some flaws.  Crumpled petals.  Little bug bites in the leaves.  A disagreeable odor, perhaps.  Messy pollen dropping on your new tablecloth. (speaking of tablecloths, I checked your gift registry, and may I just say:  well done!  Who knew Vera Wang made shrimp servers?)   And all too soon, that flower fades, and you’re left with the dry, seedy reality.

Your husband will get it wrong all the time.  And so will you. In fact, if you stay married, I guarantee you many long decades of mistakes and misunderstandings.  That’s just part of the deal. So when he comes home with the kung pao chicken after you definitely asked for mu shu pork, you’ve got a choice to make.  You can have a fight, or you can have dinner.

Because in marriage, in life, in the garden, and in the flower shop, you’re not always going to get what you ordered.  When things go wrong, you can handle it with grace, or you can handle it with a lawsuit. 

But honey, litigation won’t keep you warm at night.  Just a thought.

Posted by on October 18, 2007 at 8:33 am, in the category Ask Dr. Bleedingheart.
Comments are off for this post

23 Responses to “An Open Letter to Disappointed Brides Everywhere”

  1. Jane says:

    Well said!

  2. Theresa says:

    That was perfect Amy! Loved it. Sure wish they would take your advice.

  3. Pamela says:

    Amy, litigation might keep her warm at night; she’s a lawyer. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and it doesn’t sound like a happy ending for the florist.

  4. Phillip says:

    They will be divorced within 10 years.

  5. Pamela says:

    How could they possibly last ten years? I hope her husband has a good lawyer.

  6. melissa says:

    oh! thank you! I actually needed to hear that about my own life. . . .

  7. Oldroses says:

    Eek! Bridezilla alert! You’re right, I feel sorry for the florist and her husband. We can only hope that she will eventually mature emotionally.

  8. Unbelievable. It’s a sad sad life in which you can’t find a better cause that suing over the color of flowers. Even this story gives lawyers–and bridezillas–a bad name.

    –Robin (Bumblebee)

  9. Tai Haku says:

    part of me thinks if you spend $27K on something like this, then whoever’s charging $27K should be getting it right and paying consequences for not doing so….like a refund not $400K. The other part of me thinks $27K on flowers?!?!? Were the centerpieces constructed entirely from female Encephalartos woodii cones?

  10. ROTFLMAO! Dear Disappointed Bride: get a life!

  11. Benjamin says:

    I recently got married, and already these are all true, good advice. At our wedding, it was essential to overlook flaws, just as in the garden–but at least in the garden if something goes very wrong you can move it or replace it. Well, you CAN do that in marriage too I guess….

  12. You go girl.
    You planned , checked, double checked , pre-paid thousands of dollars , were definitely assured that the color flower that you requested would be available 9 months ahead of time, were shown an exact floral arrangement with the correct flower color ( for a fee of $ 1000.00 ) and sent over 250 emails to your florist.
    And what did you get ?
    Dusty half filled vases of the wrong colored flower for the grand total of 27 K.

    If I or anyone else was paying that amount they would want for it to be right or at the very least be informed of the revision.
    The florist did not inform the bride of the revision
    nor answered or responded to many of her emails.

    Dear over priced florist, didn’t anybody tell you that we are in a SERVICE oriented profession ?
    One must provide exceptional service if they want to receive exceptional payment,… which you requested and were given.

    Oh poor over priced under serviced florist : “this is why us professionals carry omissions and errors insurance.”

    The florist made a 27 K error . Pay the lady.

    It is doubtful the bride will reap 400 K , but the florist won’t be so quick to provide shoddy craftsmanship, agree to something that he cannot provide and disregard emails from his paying client.

  13. bev says:

    OK, that does it; I’m forcing my daughter to elope!

  14. Lanell Burton says:

    Yes, the only way to get it right is to not see it as wrong to begin with. Must need the $400k to buy even more stuff, apparently the bridal registry horde isn’t enough. Sure wish this country could go back to hating the rich!

  15. eliz says:

    Ha!

    Distress. Embarrassment. Gimme a break.

  16. Reading Dirt says:

    $27,000? On flowers? Oh, dear dog, I don’t spend that much on my entire garden in an entire year, and I have plenty of flowers.

    If Bridezilla has another spare $27,000 sitting around that she can’t think of a better use for than a flower arrangement that will wilt within a few days anyway, she could send it to me instead. I could put it to good use.

  17. I was waiting to hear what Amy would say about this story. Nice response, although much less industry-oriented than I expected.

  18. Brooke says:

    It’s not even about the bride or the florist, it’s about real life…great message Amy, and so true.

  19. Nice, Amy. After you’ve been married for a while, the idea that the wedding is important seems like a joke.

  20. Loved it! “You can have a fight, or you can have dinner”. Brilliant.

  21. Flowers are, or were living things, & as such can’t always be depended on. When 1 of my sisters got married, we ordered beautiful flowers that included huge oriental lilies. The flowers looked terrible in all the photos taken after we left the bride’s house. They were all brown & wilted. Why,we wondered, & is the florist responsible? Then we considered that the temperature that day was below zero. The flowers got frozen. Definitely not the florist’s fault. Just 1 more thing to take into consideration when dealing with live plant material.

  22. OK. Must ask. What DID she want and what DID she get? Was it just the color or the type of flowers?

  23. frog says:

    Recently engaged and with a florist mother, I sympathize with the bride. not $400,000 worth of sympathy, though. She should get the flowers that were the wrong color for free, at least. Oh, and Mr. McGregor’s Daughter, if it was below zero, the florist should have covered the flowers on the way in.
    For my wedding, I’m hoping mom plants a nice cutting garden.

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