Ministry of Controversy

Fish Heads Threaten Homeland Security

Via Boing Boing, Doug Green, McHenry County Blog, et al.  The Department of Homeland Security holds up a shipment of organic fertilizer made from fermented salmon heads out of fear that the salmon may, against all odds and in violation of all laws of nature, be infected with mad cow disease. 


Underwood Gardens
(known under the sinister code name of Grandma’s Garden Catalog) has been importing the stuff for years from Canada, but this time, DHS held up the shipment. Without the stinky organic fertilizer-slash-deer-and-bunny- repellent, owner Mayo Underwood doesn’t know what might happen to her  garden.

Get real, Mayo.  That’s a small price to pay for freedom.  Remember, if we don’t fight the fish heads in Canada, we’ll have to fight them here at home.

read the article

Posted by on July 26, 2007 at 10:32 am, in the category Ministry of Controversy.
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9 responses to “Fish Heads Threaten Homeland Security”

  1. Doug Green says:

    Well, I for one never trust a fish head I haven’t caught, fermented, boiled and strained myself. One never knows who or what has been feeding those fish – heck, it might have been swimming off Manhattan and gawd-knows what’s alive in the water off that bit of land-that-the-enviro-gods-forgot.

    But if we can’t get you with hockey, superior beer or Pamela Anderson, we’ll get you with our fish heads.

    Up your Maple Leaves.

  2. Clea Danaan says:

    Funny how the govt won’t test all the cows slated for human consumption, but they protect us from potential Canadian mad salmon we spread on our plants…

    I’m so glad to know the USDA has my homegrown tomatoes’ backs.

  3. Marte says:

    Actually Doug, I believe I heard that the Hudson has been cleaned up some! (But probably not enough) I worry quite a lot about the mercury in the walleye I catch up in Voyageurs. (But not enough to give up my shorelunch!)

  4. Salmon heads are dangerous. They’re FMDs, according to Homeland Security’s “gut” feeling. Fish heads of mass destruction!

  5. Red Zinnia says:

    Oh my gosh I about laughed out of my chair. This story would be a funny Saturday Night Live skit; too bad it’s true.

  6. bright says:

    are we absolutely certain they’re not genetically modified cowfish hybrids? steak salmon maybe? you do not want to be around when a herd of steerfish goes bad!

  7. BPB says:

    “Fish heads, fish heads
    Roly poly fish heads
    Fish heads, fish heads
    Eat ’em up yum!”

    That’s the only thing I can think of to explain it. (I wish I could remember who penned that classic ditty.)

  8. Is ‘fish heads’ from one of the Kliban books? Maybe the one with the see through cat for the top of the TV?

    Too weird.

    Annie at the Tranplantable Rose

  9. dancer says:

    This is ridiculous! Excuse my ignorance. I’m just becoming aware of such nonsense. Isn’t there something else we can do to help Underwood Gardens and make what is happening more public?

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